There is a War Inside
I needed a long walk. People underestimate the power of clearing your head.
The blood pumps in your legs releasing not all, but some of that built up stress. The cool breeze across your face and chest as the warm Autumn sun shines down to balance it all out. The sky is a metallic blue with clouds scattered out allowing you to depict images out of their shapes. Hearing the crunch of the leaves as you walk over them, leaving the tree’s exposed. The smell of the damp earth mixed with a family barbecue as they enjoy what’s left of the good weather. The sound of a dog barking and children laughing in the distance. I stop, take a deep breath, and release all of the uncertainty that I bear. The world feels different on days like this, calm. Feeling less fearful of the future because all I have is right now, this moment. Times like these I’m shielded from myself, my own thoughts, my own mistakes.
Then the clock starts again. The blood that was pumping relieving the stress turned to sore muscles. The sun has set and all I’m left with is the bone-chilling cold of the near Winter. The sky is charcoal black, all of the stars hiding behind those once appealing clouds. The crunch of the leaves places me in a state of nervousness. The damp earth smells of mold and the only evidence of the family barbecue is the mess left behind. No more sounds of dogs barking or children laughing, A stale silence all around me. I take a deep breath, fully aware of all of the uncertainty that I bear. The world always feels the same on nights like these, lonely. I’m afraid of the future, afraid of myself. The shield can only hold off my thoughts for a little while, haunted by my mistakes.
Tomorrow I need a long walk, people underestimate the power of clearing your head.
